Monday, October 29, 2012

News from the Asylum: Special Hurricane Edition

Hurrican Sandy Tracking Map
Photo source: Weather Channel

Mandatory evacuation orders have been issued for coastal areas in the mid-Atlantic and New England states. Asked for comment, Vice President Joe Biden called the orders “malarkey,” grinned idiotically, and laughed for no apparent reason.

In an official statement, President Obama said, “this is going to be a slow-moving process through a wide swath of the country, and millions of people are going to be affected.” It was unclear whether he was referring to Hurricane Sandy or the weak economic recovery. The president added, “I inherited the worst storm since the Great Depression.”

A Labor Department official stated today that the Bureau of Labor Statistics has made no decision yet as to whether the October unemployment report, due Friday, will be delayed as a result of Hurricane Sandy. The report will be the last set of data about the jobs situation prior to the presidential election. “We’ll decide what to do after we see whether the numbers are favorable to the president,” the official said.

Seen on FB: Just read reports that Hurricane Sandy is a "spontaneous weather event" sparked by a Weather Channel video on YouTube. (Thanks, JW!)

Also seen on FB: Just heard the governor on the radio say: If you have a gas-powered generator please I repeat please, locate it in an open area. <--- thank goodness for this guy, 'cause I had mine all set to go...under my bed. (Thanks, BR!)

CNN reports that 765,000 people are without electric power — and some of them aren't even victims of the EPA's war on coal.

What's the difference between Obama's economic policies and Hurricane Sandy? One blows and the other is a storm system.

All kidding aside, I hope everyone stays safe and dry. Please support the volunteers of the Red Cross as they endeavor to help those hardest hit by the hurricane. You can read about their efforts and make a donation at

Michael Isenberg is the author of Full Asylum, a novel about politics, freedom, and hospital gowns. Check it out on

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