#10 Learn how to pronounce “corpsman.”
#9 Grab ankles; ask Putin if that’s flexible enough.
#8 Travel to 38 countries, none of them Israel.
#7 Ship uncounted Romney ballots to that Raiders of the Lost Ark warehouse.
#6 Give Paula Broadwell a debriefing, if you get my drift (oops – that’s Bill Clinton’s plan for Obama’s 2nd term).
#5 Drunk dial House of Representatives, ask to speak to Speaker “Boner.”
#4 Visit Freedom Tower, tell architect, “You didn’t build that.”
#3 Find out what this economy thing is that Romney kept talking about.
#2 Change name to Obama Boo Boo
#1 Blame everything on the first Obama term.
Michael Isenberg is the author of Full Asylum, a novel about politics, freedom, and hospital gowns. Learn more at www.FullAsylum.com.