As the nation hurtles toward the automatic tax increases and spending cuts known as the “fiscal cliff,” Congress and the White House seek alternative cost cutting and revenue enhancing measures:
#10 Take tax revenue to Vegas, bet everything on red.
#9 Cut Michelle Obama’s travel budget. On her next trip, she can only bring 20 of her closest friends.
#8 McDonald’s Extra Value meals at state dinners.
#7 Put off buying new fighter jets until Black Friday sale.
#6 Ask Romney for a loan.
#5 Sell the original Constitution to a collector; Obama wasn’t using it anyway.
#4 Have Massachusetts Senator-elect Elizabeth Warren open a casino (Get it?).
#3 Botox tax. The CBO estimates this would raise a billion dollars, just from Pelosi.
#2 Charge Biden a quarter every time he says “malarkey.”
And finally,
#1 Let Sandra Fluke pay for her own damn birth control.
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Michael Isenberg is the author of Full Asylum, a novel about politics, freedom, and hospital gowns.
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